I used to bartend with this guy who seemed to have big aspirations. To protect the, er.. innocent, let’s call him “Jason.” He always talked about what he was ‘gonna’ do.
“This summer I’m gonna go live in New Zealand.”
“Cool,” I said.
“Yeah, I’ve done all the research and it’s gonna be great. I really want to expand my cultural knowledge.”
I’d just met the guy, and had no reason to doubt him. About two weeks later, we were working together again, so I asked him:
“So, when do you leave for New Zealand?”
“Oh, I decided to stay here and take extra classes this summer. I’m gonna graduate in December.”
“Wow, that’s quite a change from two weeks ago.”
“Yeah, it’s no big deal.”
“How long have you been going to school?”
“Shut up.”
I was a little surprised that he changed his mind so quickly, but once again, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was under financial stress.
We continued to work together throughout the spring. I got to know him a little better over beers after work with the rest of the crew. I learned that he really liked to talk about himself.
One week, it would be:
“I’m gonna be in the FBI when I graduate. Yeah, I hear they give really good signing bonuses.”
The next, I’d hear:
I’m starting my own restaurant in a few years when I have enough money. These guys don’t know how to do it. My spot will be great.
And still the next, he’d say:
“Yeah, I changed my major to pre-law. I’ve got a connection at an ivy league law school.”
At this point, I had resorted to humoring him with a smile and a nod. He had officially lost all credibility to me.
Of course, when summer came around, he wasn’t in class, let alone New Zealand. He spent his time partying at the lake and coming up with new plans to tell me about.
I worked there for several years as I was stashing away money to get out of debt. (Read the whole story here.) He was still there when I left, still coming up with big plans to tell everyone.
The last I heard, he got fired for drinking on the job. To be honest, it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to him. Hopefully, it forced him to actually do something with his life instead of just talking about it.
Of Actions and Words
I was familiar with the phrase “actions speak louder than words” before I met Jason, but it finally meant something to me after observing him. It’s funny how you think you understand something until you actually do.
Since then, I’ve adopted the value of actions over words. While it’s not always easy, I strive to express myself through what I have accomplished as opposed to what I’m ‘gonna’ accomplish.
‘Gonna’ Lose Weight
How often do you hear people say that they are ‘gonna’ lose weight? How often do they follow through? Try this:
Next time you’re ‘gonna’ lose weight, don’t tell anyone. Just get on your regimen and see how long it takes for someone to notice. If you can hold your mouth until someone notices, you’ve really accomplished something.
Words in the Blogosphere
I see people valuing words over actions in the blogosphere all the time. Bloggers like to say things like “I’m writing a book,” or “I’m ‘gonna’ post this amazing article,” or “I’m ‘gonna’ try this new monitization strategy.”
I don’t want to hear it. Let me know when you’ve actually finished something.
Hollywood
In Hollywood, everyone’s quick to tell you they’re writing a script, but how many have they actually written? Everyone’s ‘gonna’ shoot a movie, but few actually do.
Entrepreneurs
How often do you hear people tell you they’re ‘gonna’ start a business? It’s almost as if the act of telling someone satisfies their entrepreneurial desires.
Philosophy
People are quick to tell you about their new outlook on life. While I like to talk philosophy, I also know that wisdom is hard to come by. I’m skeptical of anyone’s philosophy unless they’ve been practicing it for several years with positive results.
Gonna, Gonna, Gonna
‘Gonna’ get a new job, ‘Gonna’ invest in real estate, ‘Gonna’ live right this year… Enough.
Let’s all raise the standards of our lives and value actions over words.
Brian,
Great post! Between my time as a personal trainer and my time since then when I have been writing self improvement/personal development content, I have heard as many “gonnas” as I care to hear.
I’m with you – let’s see some action, then when people start saying what there are “gonna do next” they’ll have a lot more credibility.
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Thanks, Aaron. As a personal trainer, you’re an expert in this field!
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Interesting post. I have mixed feelings of agreement and disagreement over it. On the one hand, I too have known plenty of people that were nothing but talk about what they were “going to do.” I’ve been one of those people. But on the other hand, I think one of the best ways to help motivate yourself is to make yourself accountable.
Telling people what you intend to do ensures that you have others who are aware of your progress. It creates a group of cheerleaders to urge you on, and a network to which you have to explain yourself if you fail. For me, that’s a motivational combination. It would take a powerful will to do some things with no external support whatsoever.
I’m not sure I can reconcile this contradiction. Any thoughts?
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It’s one thing to have an accountability partner, someone who’s invested in your success.
It’s another to tell people your ‘gonnas’ for the sake of making yourself feel better.
Plus, if you are in the mindset of “I am going to do XYZ,” then by definition you are reinforcing to yourself that you are not doing XYZ right now.
If you want to do something, just do it. If you want to be a movie director, get a camera and start making movies. You can get a friend to work with you and motivate you through the process of filming X number of hours a week, but you don’t need to go around telling people about future results, such as how many Oscars you’re going to win.
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Gerry and Neal have a point, nothing is black and white. It’s not like you are going to hide your travel plans from everyone including your parents until you go…
The spirit of the article is to keep talk to the minimum and action to the maximum.
Thanks for your comments, guys. You are thinking critically.
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nice article & pretty dead on, though thinking about Neal’s comment I do believe there is a difference between “I’m gonna” and “I’m doing”. An example of this might be “I’m gonna go to New Zealand this summer” vs. “I’ve saved xxx$ to go to New Zealand this summer, now all I need is xxx. Just me thinking
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I have via the seiving or rather seeeing and reading of this article learnt the best lesson in my life; since I’am a photo copy of contrdcition in what I actually say and what I end up doing.I ‘am a wizard of words and actually manage to convince people of what I intend to do, sincerely, at least at that point of time.
However there is a difference in the pursuits of people who mean what they want to do but are put to shame or mocked at for a lack of accomplishing the same.
Pardon the egoism, but over a period of time I’ve realised that I’ve this amazing ability to write spontaneously or instantaneously on any topic under the sun.I have hence realised that I am a Literary Genius.
I’ve penned articles in dozens and written poems like mad, with little or no success at all for a simple lack of direction and not because what I’ve penned is ambiguous or unappealing.
But there is something intrinsic within me that tells me that I shall one day make a mark for myself.
I ‘am guilty of what Jason did; simply owing to lack of success.After all it is a difficult choice to make.In my country there are trillions who spend hours digging wells each day to eke out a living.
My Genius hence succumbs at times to aspirations materialistic, rather then superlative.
Jason may be a case in point.A person of modest means waiting to explode, if given a choice or rathera chnace ,to express whatever he excels in.
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