The Four Agreements :: Book Review

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book with a solid philosophy on achieving freedom in life. Ruiz draws from Toltec wisdom to convey his simple, yet powerful message.

The book begins with a philosophical and spiritual discussion of the nature of reality from a Toltec prospective. Ruiz draws from legend, metaphor, and practical example to explain how we create our own heaven and hell on earth.

I’ve always been very comfortable with Native American spiritual philosophy, so this part of the book read like a familiar bed-time story. (Maybe it’s because there’s a streak of Native American blood in my lineage.) I see it as an interesting balance between eastern and western spiritual concepts, where God is an omnipresent natural force, and a strong emphasis is placed on wisdom and honor.

The Domestication of Humans

Ruiz describes what he calls the “domestication of humans,” the process by which we become who we are. He explains that as innocent children, we are taught to behave, believe, and think a certain way by our parents, teachers, and peers. In order to be free, we must recognize this and learn to think for ourselves.

I liked this concept because it coincided with my thoughts on critical thinking, but it was unclear to me whether Ruiz was advocating rejection or embrace of the process of “domestication”.

I personally believe that it’s important to strike a balance between embracing your upbringing and thinking for yourself. Blindly rejecting “domestication” is just as dogmatic as blindly accepting it. A critical thinker keeps the values he agrees with and replaces the ones he doesn’t.

The Four Agreements

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

As a huge fan of integrity, I loved the wisdom and simplicity of this advice. Doing what you say you’re going to do sounds simple, yet so few people live this way.

Ruiz also described how powerful our words can be. An innocent statement to someone can plant a seed that becomes their reality. We must respect this power and use it wisely.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Can you imagine a world in which no one took anything personally? That might be the definition of world peace.

Ruiz recommends not taking anything personally, even if you were to be shot in the head. Now that’s zen-like emotional control.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

This is great advice for our relationships with other people. Unmet expectations based on faulty assumptions are the root of many arguments.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

This was my favorite agreement because it was a new perspective for me. I’ve always pushed myself to achieve a very high standard and therefore left myself open to disappointment. Ruiz teaches us to hold ourselves to no more and no less than our best.

Bottom Line

Another great book from the Genius Types book club! If everyone were to follow the philosophies outlined in this book, we’d all be a lot happier.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz